Showing Up!

Life is very challenging for me at the moment.  There are a number of struggles that are really weighing me down (we will get into those as we move along).  However, for today’s episode we will talk about showing up!

I’ve spent the majority of my life taking the easy way out.  I don’t like conflict, so I almost always take the path of least resistance.  This includes employment, relationships and general self love.  I am a passive (or reactive) person.  This leaves me in a place where I don’t feel like I’m actually driving my life.

Rather, I’m sitting in the passenger seat (or sometimes at the back of the bus) and letting others decide where I end up. That fucking sucks, right?!?   There are obvious risks to this approach.  Specifically, ending up somewhere I don’t want to be!  This sadly has happened and I’m in debt, in a relationship and at a job I don’t enjoy.   Yay!

Yesterday’s post about lists included these two gems about things you will regret when you are old:

3. Staying in a bad relationship. No one who ever gets out of a bad relationship looks back without wishing they made the move sooner.

9. Not quitting a terrible job. Look, you gotta pay the bills. But if you don’t make a plan to improve your situation, you might wake up one day having spent 40 years in hell.

I had a counseling session today (or therapy, or whatever you’d like to call it) and she asked me:

“What would it feel like to be in this same spot three or five years from now?”

I pretty much started crying when I thought about how depressing that would be.  I can’t do that!  I can’t keep staying stuck.  I need to make some progress and move forward from these current situations.

Step one is Showing Up in life!  This means being an active participant and taking hold of that damn wheel!  Wish me Luck!

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